“Everybody has a story. When we don’t take the time to know someone’s story, or worse, create our own version of it, we lose the chance to understand what they need, which is the first step to empathy.” - Do Over by Jon Acuff
When we don’t take the time to understand someone’s background and the reason why they act the way they do, we often make the mistake of assuming that that’s just who they are (see: Fundamental Attribution Error).
But when we take the time to learn their story, we take the first step towards friendship, which is feeling empathy.
In the same way, it’s important we take the time to fully understand our own stories and tell ourselves a positive story about our own character. Donald Miller writes that it can be obvious we shouldn’t say or think bad things about someone else, but we somehow think it’s acceptable to do with ourselves.
What often stresses us the most is not what other people will think of us if we fail, it’s what we’ll think of ourselves.
Find the good in yourself. It’s there if you look.
But when we take the time to learn their story, we take the first step towards friendship, which is feeling empathy.
In the same way, it’s important we take the time to fully understand our own stories and tell ourselves a positive story about our own character. Donald Miller writes that it can be obvious we shouldn’t say or think bad things about someone else, but we somehow think it’s acceptable to do with ourselves.
What often stresses us the most is not what other people will think of us if we fail, it’s what we’ll think of ourselves.
Find the good in yourself. It’s there if you look.